We tried everything, even pet massage and therapy.
He eats and eats and eats and sleeps and make no money, beside the noise, the weight, the screams, you probably see him on youtube, hes name is burger the evil cats
I don't think anyone can convince you of anything or make any suggestions, if they don't know what the cat is doing to drive you nuts. Is it possessive? Aggressive? What?
I'm just going to assume 1) that the cat comes between you and your wife at times you definitely don't want it to, and 2) that your wife had the cat before she had you. The second one is negotiable, but not a whole lot. And if the second one is true, then what you are dealing with is a dominance thing, particularly if the cat is male.
Unlike male dogs, which will respond sexually to a human female scent, particularly when the woman has her period, cats tend to be gentlemanly. Basically, they're indifferent. But male cats do bond to female owners in a non-sexual yin-yang kind of way. And male cats are territorial and depending on their personality and experience, can be possessive or protective of their territory and their mistress.
Warren Eckstein, in his book, How to Get Your Cat to Do What You Want It to Do tells of a famous model (name not given) who had a male cat she loved. She acquired a boyfriend, and while the cat had always been neutral about her boyfriends, he didn't care for this one at all. One evening, in her home, she fell into an argument with the boyfriend, and the guy just went off. He hit her and went to grab her, but did not succeed, because the cat jumped on the guy, landing on his shoulders, and began to scratch his face and neck.
This cat was a mensch. Your wife's is apparently the cat from hell, at least as far as you are concerned. If I knew the behaviors, I might have some ideas, but failing that, I do have a suggestion. If you folks have enough money for pet massage and pet therapy, then you surely have money for a cage.
I'm not talking a little, confining thing, here. I'm talking a nice, big cage with a shelf or two, room for a nice bed, a litter box, food, water, toys and one of those sisal scratchers that you can lash to the bars. Put it by a nice window with lots of action: lots of passersby or trees with birds and squirrels. By mutual agreement with your wife, you can set up a schedule for the cat. At certain times of the day, he goes into the cage, and for so many hours or at certain times of day, he roams the house.
Follow the schedule, and if he meows or howls, just ignore him. He will catch on.
If you really don't want to do this, then try to locate a cat rescue group or no-kill shelter, and go through them to find a new home for this creature.
YOu know better than to kill it. Maybe just placement in a new home with a lone, female owner would be a good solution — and your wife could visit him from time to time.
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